MK on my mind….

“Just when I thought I had love figured out, you come waltzing in casting doubt. Now I’m crazy, and acting like a fool. Lately I’m so distracted over you.” Darden Smith

I’ve always appreciated the above lyrics by Darden Smith because they perfectly capture how I felt being in love with Mary Kay, especially in the earliest days of our love affair!

As a couple, we were in debt early and often, but this past week I was finally able to pay down a fragment of an old debt.  It was one I never thought I’d be able to repay, especially since it compounded during the many years of MK’s illness.  As a result, MK has really been on my mind and when Darden’s song ‘Distracted’ came on I knew I needed to write.

With adequate social distancing, etc. I was able to host the most important doctor in Mary Kay’s, and our family’s, life during her extreme medical journey with brain cancer.  Our guest was her neuro-oncologist and he brought along his young children.  It was a short, three day visit, but during every minute of those few days I could feel MK smiling, knowing ‘the doctor was in the house’, the doctor was her forever favorite, and the house was her beloved Pallino.  The weather was ideal, Pallino’s rooms rang with the laughter of children, and we closed out each day with long talks, good food (even though I cooked), and naturally glasses of wine from the DP Wine Cellar.

I’ve always known I needed to somehow thank this incredibly significant doctor.  It came to me one day that MK would have wanted me to extend an invitation for him to come to Pallino so he might grab an R&R break from the constant demands that come with being one of the most amazing physicians at Mayo Clinic.  I was looking forward to his visit, but was unprepared for the flood of emotions it brought along.  From the moment he knocked on the door and I saw NapaTheLab go bonkers from seeing we were about to have visitors, I choked up. 

When my hand reached the doorknob, every nerve in my body wanted to be able to holler out ‘MK, the doctor is here!’

Luckily I didn’t even as waves of sadness hit me full on.  But, as we all know, you can’t stay sad for long when there are children about.  Especially when they’ve been told they are now ‘at the lake’!  I think a backdoor-to-water record was set as suitcases were unloaded, bedrooms discovered, swimsuits donned, and beach met.  What followed was a few days of lakeside heaven.

I thought of MK often during our visit.  I know she’d have readied Pallino better than I, cooked far tastier and elaborate dinners, and laughed at the stories and memories being traded louder and longer than we did.  Best of all I know she would have joined right in and been the amazing host she always was for any guest, but especially such special ones.  She, better than anyone, knew his value to her and our family.  After all, fourteen years is a long time for a single specialist to focus on a patient and no doctor cared anywhere near as deeply and consistently for MK as he did.

I smiled a lot at the doctor’s children.  MK knew they’d been born and followed their earliest years, albeit second hand, frequently mentioning how much she wished she could meet them in person.  No doubt she would have adored the high spirits bubbling in his daughter, the wonderfully caring nature of his son, and being able, unrushed, to sit and chat with the doctor just shooting the breeze until well past midnight with wine glasses in hand.

All in all, I believe MK would agree a modicum of our debt was repaid these past few days, know each of us are all the richer for our time together, and best of all been very happy with how our days together unfolded. 

Forever My Love!